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The first contact I had with Jason after his passing
was within a couple of days. We were trying to get his clothes out quickly because
there was an unhappy landlord breathing down our necks.
He didn't want to let us in to get anything....
and since Lad our Son(Jason's brother) had to kick in the door to get inside....
we couldn't keep anyone out either.....so with the help of the local law enforcement
we were allowed to get Jason's things out.
First night...2 good friends went there to get the "big items"
things we knew would not be there in the morning....
they pushed the sofa against the door from the inside.
The police office talk to the landlord.
As far as we know...he didn't go in that night.
After that it was padlocked by the police for safe keeping.
The next day we had all of the arraignments to make.....
so I'm thinking it was day 2 we went get the rest of Jason's things.
Seeing us there the landlord came down to harass us...
he was a despicable little person...he thought it was just
me and my sister in law carrying out things...so he felt brave....
so after he came and ran his mouth Lad and my brother Gene came out
and told him to get as fast as possible...which he did...
after that he didn't drive by or anything...
so I'm not sure what was all said...
at that point...I didn't care...




We had gotten all that we could see of Jason's and I kept hearing....
"KEEP LOOKING" It just kept going round in my head......
so I kept looking....and not finding more...
everyone else was waiting on me to leave...but I couldn't
until I found what it was I was suppose to find.....
so I kept looking....then just as I was ready to give up...
I was in the bedroom....and it keep coming faster....
keep looking....keep looking...so finally up on
the very top shelf of the closet...I felt something...
I was finally able to grab a small corner of it.....and I pulled down...
Jason's bunny rabbit blanket. It was his favorite
blanket from when he was born...
he always took care of bunny rabbit blanket...
I didn't even know he had it there....
as soon as I found it....the voice in my head stopped.....
I knew I could leave then.



The day of the funeral….. I knew he was there.
I could feel him there. To Jason everything was an adventure….
Something to have fun with.. and his funeral was no exception.
His best friend Darrin could feel it too. We live in a town of about
2500 people….and the driver of the hearse got “lost”….
Drove past the Church and had to turn around at the high school.
This town is so small that we have a 4 way stop
sign in the middle of town….no traffic lights here….
It’s was like Jason saying good bye one more time….
his tour of the town.



After awhile I would get “smell visits” I loved most of them.
I could smell his cologne and
there was no mistaking him there…. On occasion he would
leave other odors for me….
just to remember him by. One night I was on the computer...
…the dog was down staires and Jason was in the room with me… I went to get a drink
in the kitchen…and the Smell was waiting
for me when I got back….no they never loose their sense of humor.
`Like everyone…. I wanted a sign… something I could see….
So I always asked.. Then one day in the summer of 97
I had to go down town for something. So I turned Off the T.V.
in the family room and went upstairs to get ready.
I heard the television back on…..
thought that was weird…I’m still new at all these signs…so I
thought to myself…I must have forgotten to turn it off….
Well it was not the same station I was watching…it Was the Comedy Channel…
Jason love the comedy channel. I never watched it…lol
I just said Hi Babe. I knew it was him.



One morning I was really feeling down….
I was still driving school bus then….
and I was talking to Jason and I told him
I really needed a hug….I felt my elbow move inward….
like someone reached around me and hugged me…..
I said to myself….that has got to be my imagination….
just at that moment I felt it again…and
heard “Imagine That”
I love that boy…

There was a beautiful black lab that would get
loose now and then in the area of the high school.
One morning it ran in front of the bus right in front of me….
there was nothing she could have done to miss this beautiful animal.
As I was witnessing this…. I heard Jason say.
“I got him Mom” it was so awful and awesome at the same time….
I watched in horror as this beautiful dog was dying….
yet I knew he didn’t feel a thing. Jason had him.




We have a duck that quacks when you pat it’s head.
It belongs to Chelsea and Jason loved playing with it,
we got it for her for her first Easter. Jason drove us all
nuts tapping that ducks head making it quack….
Well it sits on a shelf in my family room….
The battery should have been long dead..
but it still quacks without anyone touching it…
and each time we say Hi Babe…
and Gregory says Hi Dad.


Lad never stopped at the cemetery… he always toots his
horn but he would never stop. He didn’t believe
in “signs” well one day just as he tooted his horn his car died…right In front of the cemetery.
It started right back up….there was no problems with it…
Jason was just saying hi. He knew that would differently
get his attention. He had a golf cart chase him….
Backwards. Then he started to get dimes….his Dad gets dimes too….
never where they should be. He is a believer now.

A few years ago he was at a race in Oklahoma in late fall.
He got up to the lights and his race car was covered with purple butterflies.
They weren’t anywhere else…just on his car.
His race car is purple…. It’s his favorite color.




Bud would look at me strangely each time
I would tell him I could smell Jason.
He thought I was totally nuts.
He keep saying it must be him I was smelling.
He had small things happen like changing channels on the T.V.
He would chalk up to “coincidence”
He wants so much to see him….just like I did.
Well A few years ago I was at a horse show
and Bud was home all alone. He said he walked up the stairs
just as he hit the top step….. he could smell Jason…..
no doubt about it
In your face HERE I AM.
Funny how things like that make
believers out of all of us.